Ants
by MalHotel22
Summary: No longer a protector, Kate looks upon the city, was it worth it? - Post Always. First fanfic snippet and I'll write more if you guys like it!
1. Chapter 1

This is my first attempt at fanfic. I know it's super short, but the plan is to write more if you guys like it :) so let me know thanks!

* * *

It was stunning, the view of the city from _his_ office window. Skyscrapers loomed like giants over thousands of people buzzing along, most of whom were blissfully unaware of what went on around them. Lights lit up the night, proving how the city never slept, this city that Kate Beckett loved so much, and felt honored and obligated to protect and serve. Until today. As she watches the ant like figures move below her, Kate knows she is no longer the protector, she is one of them. That makes her feel vulnerable. Normally, susceptibility would terrify her; have her on edge, but not tonight. Tonight vulnerability is accompanied by a calm. It is foreign to her, strange, but oh so welcomed.

Hands, at first they were jerky, wanting, yearning to explore, but not sure if they were welcomed, if it was the right thing to do. But with a clap of thunder and the delicate graze of her fingers on his face, all inhabitations were lost. The door slammed shut. Hands roamed free, fierce, and quick. Their mouths were unrelenting and hungry as they tried desperately to make up for time lost. He feathered kissed anywhere he could, and inevitably he came to that spot. She let him see it, and when he first laid eyes on her scar, which in so many ways was their scar, he softened. And she picked up his hand. Together they cradled scar, because this was something they needed to share. When they finally broke apart, noses still touching, she smiled, a look of pure happiness danced on her face, as their fingers intertwined. She bit her lip and gave him one last reassuring nod. She wanted this, wanted him, and began to walk toward his room.


	2. Chapter 2

Still working my way around FanFic. Sorry for errors :) I don't own Castle

* * *

They were finally something more. It had taken them a hell of a long time to get there, but she and Richard Castle had picked their way through the rubble of her shattered wall. It had been beautiful. Every touch, every kiss was tender and laced with passion. Breathy moans escaped hungry lips, yet nothing was rushed. They made love slowly. It was simple really, for Rick and Kate the important things took time. This first display of pent up emotion was pivotal for each of them. Both fought to show how much they cared for, loved, and needed the other. Words were not enough this time. And In the end, as they lay covered in temporary bliss (and each other), teetering on the edge of sleep, Kate whispered,

"So sorry Castle. Thank you."

"Me too Kate," was his groggy reply.

She burrowed into his chest and sighed, "Talk tomorrow, promise" as he tried to nod in agreement his eyelids slowly drifted shut.

When Kate woke up everything was hazy. She didn't seem to be in her own bed, and she had no idea what time it was. The best guess she could muster was that it was super early in the morning. The moon still hung high in a cloudy sky. More importantly, where was she? A toe nudged into her calf, and it clicked. She was in Castle's bed. She had come to him the night before, after the fight, after she quit her job, after everything. They had crossed that fragile line of theirs. Suddenly she was restless; she needed to breathe. Kate slithered out of his bed, but before she turned to find a shirt she stared at him. He looked so peaceful, his hair all ruffled, a smile ghosting at his lips. Almost like a puppy, she thought. Then a smile started to creep onto her face. Rick wasn't what had her awake and antsy, she realized. It was the uncertainty of her tomorrow, their tomorrow. A couple of beats later, she reluctantly tore her gaze from the man in the bed, slid into his discarded top, and tip toed into his adjoining office. She needed time to collect herself, to let the last twenty four hours really settle in.

When Castle woke up, his memory wasn't nearly as fuzzy as Kate's had been. He could recall everything that had happened earlier that night, the thought of it had him glowing. She had seemed to have grown since their fight earlier in the week. Something huge had come and knocked down her defenses. He knew they needed to talk about whatever it was, but last night when he was reluctant, closed off, she had told just enough that he knew she wouldn't run, at least not right away. Castle had felt hope blooming in his chest; they might actually be on the same side of the wall. That was enough for now. That was when he decided to open his eyes. He needed to see her, drink her in, reaffirm what he knew to be true. And she wasn't there. Rick's heart stuttered. Had she left? No she wouldn't do that. Not tonight. Unless she had. Why did that thought have to crawl into his mind, it made him sick? With a groan, he rolls over and slides a hand over where Kate should be, where she had been just hours before. To his surprise the rumpled sheets were still warm. He shot up. Maybe she was still here; in the bathroom maybe? No, the door was ajar, light off. Snagged by longing and curiosity, Castle surveyed his room eager to find something to show she had not left. There were clothes everywhere, all black. That didn't help much. They had both been dress in black last night, and he was not in the mood to get up and examine every article of clothing. But something was missing, his maroon dress shirt. It had been the only pop of color between them, and now it was gone. She was still in the loft (wearing his shirt, he might add)! Stumbling out of bed, he was on a mission: find Kate, find pants, and finally have their much needed talk. Not necessarily in that order.


	3. Chapter 3

So sorry for the wait! I applaud your patience :) I don't own Castle

* * *

Rick finds her curled up in his office chair staring out the window. Something heavy seems to be eating at her, and he thinks he may have an idea as to what. While searching for sweats, as pants seemed to be the most pressing issue, Castle had decided to hang Kate's damp clothes up to dry. What he found, well actually what he didn't find, puzzled him. There was no gun or badge. If they had gone on a date, or if she'd come over for dinner, this wouldn't have surprised him too much. The thing was it hadn't appeared as if Kate had gone home after work. She was soaked when she arrived, like she ran there, no car, no umbrella, definitely no trip back to her apartment. This being said, her weapon and shield should still be on her, yet they weren't. All Rick had to do was connect the dots. Now, seeing her, a little ball in his chair, he doesn't want to bring it up, interrupt her thinking, so he stares at her and allows himself drift in the silence. Minutes trickle by, and eventually she sighs and fidgets in the seat. This isn't enough to shake Castle entirely out of his trance, so he doesn't notice when he mumbles,

"You're not a cop anymore," it's not a question, more a verbal thought. She props herself up on her knees, looking over the back of the chair. She looks startled, but open, eyes soft. That's when he snaps out of it.

"Nope," she says casting a quick glance to the floor then back up at him, "how'd you know?"

"No badge or gun," he says simply. He does not want to push her. Kate's a smart woman, she has to understand he wants to and deserves to know the truth, but she's also very private.

"I went after him. Esposito came with me, and when we were searching his room he got the drop on us. Knocked Javi out cold then ran. I was stubborn enough to chase him…up unto the roof," she let out a shaky breath, "he threw me around like a doll Castle." As she speaks, she toys with the upper buttons of his shirt.

Rick, who was still standing just inside the doorway, takes this as an invitation to step nearer, but not enough to close the distance. With a flick of her fingers the top v's open, and she pushes it back a smidge to reveal faint bruising around her neck. She watches him as his own fingers play at his throat. This hurts him; she can see it in his eyes. Dear God she hasn't even gotten to the worst part yet. So before continuing, she reaches out a hand to show him she is still right there, an anchor of sorts.

"When he dropped me, I went rolling off the side of the hotel." Something like a squeak escapes him then. She knows what he is aching to say, but not wanting him to interrupt, Kate squeezes Castle's hand. She throws in fierce yet pleading look as back up. He stays silent.

"Maddox, he left me dangling there. I know you want to say you should've been there. Honestly, I'm glad you weren't. This past year I've been trying to heal, trying to grow. The intention was to put the case somewhere in the back of my mind and lead my own life. Not let it define me anymore," she mashes her eyes shut and shakes her head, "Dammit I thought I was there. Plus, you and I, we were talking again; we had a movie night planned. I could kinda see the light breaking through the mortar in my wall. Then this murder, the robbery, what it led to. It let the beast I thought I'd tamed out. Nothing mattered but getting my answers. Rick I understood everything you said yesterday, but I chose to focus in on the one thing I didn't like. I twisted it until it hurt and used it justify my crusade. I'm so sorry I did that. And I needed to face the consequences. Hanging, in those terrifying moments, you got me Castle. I was slipping away, screaming your name. You, us, that was an enormous part of what I had been working toward this year. I wanted to be whole for you. Not a fragmented shell of what I knew I could be. I was basically there, and in a mere minute I had destroyed it all. I had known we had something, I just didn't see until then, after the rage had escaped me, and all that lingered was the calm, how important it really was. What we have, what I feel for you, outweighs anything else in my life."

She's shaking, Castle notes. She has never been this upfront about her feelings with anyone; he needs to show her that it is okay, that they are more than okay. He never lets go of her hand, as he walks in front of the chair. Instead, her body glides around to face his, and he envelopes her in his arms. They stay that way for what seems like hours.


End file.
